never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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