sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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