you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
