Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
