So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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