So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
