did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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