sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
