she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize