guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
