We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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