OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
