I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
