Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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