I want to make a zoo with you.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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