:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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