i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
