Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize