I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The best revenge is premature balding
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
