Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
