Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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