Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
