did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
