Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My vagina just clenched in fear
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
