Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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