I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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