I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
