He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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