I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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