**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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