I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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