I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Randomize
