there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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