I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Dick very happy bro
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
