I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
