I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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