Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
