He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
did i walk over a car last night?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
