Barsexuality is the new black.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
