he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize