3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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