Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
