i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
