he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
