I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you would pick up someone in the library
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
