...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
