I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
