I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
