the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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