Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
