question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Holy sore nipples Batman
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize