in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize