'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize