I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
