absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
