Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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