What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
