my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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