I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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