what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
