i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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