her vagine was all disorganized.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
