i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
