i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
