elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize