You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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