I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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